Hellbound With You – Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Reason

As she left the city, Abigail’s mind began to wander.

She was already twenty-two and had never had a boyfriend. She grew up in a peaceful, loving family and had become a really good girl. Some compared her to untainted snow—well-mannered and pure—but most mocked her, calling her “Miss goody-two-shoes” or “little Miss Priss.”

As she grew up, Abigail got used to being mocked, but her grandparents always encouraged her not to let the water around her enter her ship, or she would drown. She had been raised to keep a positive mindset and decided there was no way she would let such people drown her.

She had a reason for never having a boyfriend. At seventeen, she realized she had developed a trauma—she was afraid of having someone fall in love with her.

Abigail had witnessed how much her father suffered every day after her mother died. Watching him cry at night, staring at his late wife’s photo, was unbearable. She had even heard him say he didn’t feel alive anymore since that day. She knew he was only holding on because of her.

Years later, Abigail was diagnosed with the same illness that killed her mother. She had inherited it, and since then had been battling it. She was only seventeen at the time and knew that, like her mother, she only had five years left to live.

That was why she always rejected the boys who showed interest. A few had confessed to her, but her fear would always be triggered. All she could say was “sorry.” Abigail avoided boys and even dressed unfashionably to be less attractive.

However, as the years passed, she began to question herself. Will I die like this?

The desires she had suppressed for so long were starting to surface. She dreamed of experiencing love, of feeling butterflies in her stomach, of kissing and embracing someone she loved with all her heart. She had read many webnovels and couldn’t help but wish to experience love before she died. Her only wish was to fall in love, even once.

But she was torn. She didn’t want to leave someone behind to suffer when she was gone. She didn’t want anyone to endure the loss and pain her father had experienced.

For years, she had thought she had accepted her fate. But now, with her due date approaching, the desire in her heart grew stronger. She decided to be brave and do her best to make her wish come true in the little time she had left.

The only way she could think to fulfill her wish was to find a man she could fall in love with but who would never fall in love with her. She had read about one-sided love and knew it was painfully excruciating—but she wanted it. If this was the only way to experience falling in love, she was willing to throw herself into it, even if it meant being hurt. She believed she could handle the pain of loving someone who didn’t love her back more than dying without ever knowing love. Perhaps she was thinking about the quote she had read at eighteen: “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Abigail once shared her situation anonymously online and asked for advice. Her thread garnered much attention and conflicting reactions.

“Since you don’t want someone to fall in love with you, why don’t you pick a random bad guy? There are lots of jerks and heartless idiots who only know how to break hearts,” was one piece of advice she considered. But what if that supposedly heartless person fell for her in the end?

Abigail still had a year left.

For now, she was doing fine. People around her, except her family, didn’t know she was sick. But like her mother before her, Abigail knew her health would worsen in her fifth year—the current year. She could foresee needing hospital visits in the next month or two. She was aware that she didn’t have much time left.